When parents go through a divorce or custody dispute, one of the most common questions is whether a child gets to choose which parent they want to live with. Many parents assume that once a child reaches a certain age, their preference automatically controls the outcome. In California, however, the answer is more nuanced.
While a child’s preference can play a role in custody decisions, it is only one of many factors courts consider. California family courts focus on what arrangement serves the best interests of the child, not simply what the child wants in the moment.
At Roberts & Zatlin, we regularly help parents understand how California courts evaluate a child’s wishes and how those wishes fit into the larger custody analysis. Knowing what the law actually requires can help parents set realistic expectations and avoid putting unnecessary pressure on their children during an already difficult time.
California Law on a Child’s Custody Preference
California law allows courts to consider a child’s wishes in custody and visitation cases when the child is mature enough to understand the situation and express a thoughtful preference.
Importantly, the law does not give children the authority to decide custody on their own. Instead, it gives judges discretion to hear from the child and determine how much weight, if any, their preference should be given.
This approach reflects California’s broader goal of protecting children from emotional harm and from being placed in the middle of parental conflict.
Is There a Minimum Age for a Child’s Preference?
There is no fixed age at which a child automatically gets to choose where they live. Instead, courts look at age and maturity together.
That said, California law does provide some guidance:
- Children age 14 and older must be permitted to express their preference if they wish, unless the court determines that doing so would not be in the child’s best interest.
- Children under 14 may also be allowed to express a preference, but the judge has more discretion in deciding whether and how that happens.
Even for teenagers, expressing a preference does not guarantee the court will follow it. Judges carefully evaluate whether the child understands the situation and whether their preference is based on thoughtful reasoning rather than emotion or outside influence.
How Courts Hear a Child’s Preference
California courts are careful about how a child’s input is received. Judges generally avoid putting children on the witness stand or forcing them to choose between parents in open court.
Depending on the circumstances, a child’s preference may be communicated in several ways:
In‑Chambers Interviews:
A judge may speak privately with the child in chambers, outside the presence of the parents. This allows the child to speak more freely and helps reduce stress.
Custody Evaluators or Investigators:
In contested cases, the court may appoint a custody evaluator or investigator to interview the child and report their observations to the court.
Minor’s Counsel:
In some situations, the court appoints an attorney to represent the child’s best interests. Minor’s counsel may share the child’s wishes while also advocating for what they believe best supports the child’s long‑term well‑being.
The method used depends on the child’s age, the complexity of the case, and any concerns about emotional harm.
How Much a Child’s Opinion Matters in Custody Cases
A child’s preference is never the sole deciding factor in a California custody case. Judges decide how much weight to give the preference based on several factors, including:
- The child’s maturity and ability to reason
- Whether the preference is consistent over time
- The reasons behind the preference
- Whether the child appears coached or pressured by a parent
- Whether the preference aligns with the child’s health, safety, and stability
For example, a preference based on fewer rules or material benefits is less persuasive than one based on emotional security, school stability, or a strong caregiving relationship.
The Best Interests of the Child Standard
All custody decisions in California are governed by the best interests of the child standard. Even when a child clearly expresses a preference, the court must still determine whether honoring that preference supports the child’s overall well‑being.
Courts commonly consider factors such as:
- The child’s health, safety, and welfare
- Any history of domestic violence or abuse
- The nature and amount of contact with each parent
- Each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment
- Each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent
A child’s preference is weighed alongside these factors, not above them.
When a Child’s Preference May Be Limited or Excluded
There are situations where a court may limit or decline to consider a child’s stated preference. This can happen when:
- Expressing a preference would cause emotional harm
- There is evidence of parental coaching or manipulation
- The child feels pressured to take sides
- The child lacks the maturity to understand the consequences of custody decisions
Judges are particularly cautious when a child’s statements appear to reflect parental conflict rather than the child’s own needs.
Guidance for Parents Navigating Custody Issues
Parents naturally want to know what their child wants, but involving children too directly in custody disputes can be damaging and may negatively affect a case.
Courts generally look favorably on parents who:
- Protect their child from adult conflict
- Avoid asking the child to choose between parents
- Encourage healthy relationships with both parents
- Focus on stability, routine, and emotional support
At Roberts & Zatlin, we emphasize child‑focused strategies that protect both your legal interests and your child’s well‑being.
How Roberts & Zatlin Can Help
Custody disputes involving a child’s preference are often emotional and legally complex. How a child’s wishes are presented and whether they should be presented at all can have a significant impact on the outcome.
An experienced California family law attorney can help assess whether a child’s preference is likely to be considered, ensure the process protects the child, and present a strong case focused on the child’s best interests.
If you have questions about child custody or how California courts may consider your child’s wishes, Roberts & Zatlin is here to help. Contact Roberts & Zatlin to discuss your situation and learn how we can guide you through the process with clarity and care.
